So here we are, second month of the new year and I am only on my second post. I have been in such a weird funk since the beginning of the year. The past few days have brought me back to life. It’s incredible how one person can spark so much energy back into your life. Today I woke up feeling revived. I love connecting with someone on an intimate level. I live for the moments I am the most vulnerable. Someone who is vulnerable is someone at their purest. Being my most vulnerable self is something I find special. It takes a special person to make me feel like all my guards can come down and I can be me. The past few days have felt so stress free. I am not sure what was so stressful and putting me in such a bad mood for the past weeks but that feeling is gone and I feel relieved. The happiness I feel right now is what I want 2019 to feel like.
Today is Valentine’s Day and I wasn’t sure how I was going to feel about it. I woke up in the pretty part of the city with a a really cute boy giving me morning kisses, a delicious cup of coffee and a sunny almost cloud free sky. If you asked me last week what I would be doing on Valentine’s day I would have so many negative things to say about today. I think its funny how things work out to be so much better than you expected to be when you least expected it. I mean… not having to work today might have also made it a little bit easier on the mind. I left Westborough with a happy heart. Even if this is just a fling or long term, it feels nice to have that feeling of wanting to know someone and someone wanting to get to know you just as much. We’ll see if this continues, but for now I shall soak it all in and appreciate the level of happiness I am feeling right now. I got home this morning to a vase full of blooming sunflowers from my dad. My relationship with my father may not be the best but I appreciate the effort he does put in on days like this. I love all forms of love. Today I chose to reflect on all the ones who love me and love me for who I am down to the core. 2019 is my year of being pure with the ones I surround myself with and appreciating all moments I have experienced and will experience – the good, the bad and everything in between. Happy Valentine’s Day to you and go love!
Today also marks one week from my birthday. This year is different that all the other years. I have always been one to vocalize their birthday the entire month, but this year I want everything to be low key and mellow. Prior to this past week, turning 24 sounded miserable to me. I set so many expectations of who I should be at 24 and I want to erase all of that. I want to live in the moment and conquer all of my dreams and goals ever so fearlessly this year. Learning to not compare myself to others has always been a major struggle for me. In 2019, there will be no more of that. I look forward to what this year brings. I hope to be blogging more often so cheers to vulnerability, endless amounts of love, and a happy heart!
Alexandria Lee 